Friday, March 23, 2007
THIS BLOG HAS MOVED TO VEEBLOG.WORDPRESS.COM
visit the blog on The New Veeblog Site - veeblog.wordpress.com/
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Switching to Wordpress
http://veeblog.wordpress.com
Well it is still early enough to do this. I'm switching to Wordpress. Please continue to view my blog at http://veeblog.wordpress.com
Well it is still early enough to do this. I'm switching to Wordpress. Please continue to view my blog at http://veeblog.wordpress.com
Friday, March 16, 2007
Criticism on Criticism on Dating
I thank G-d that I was able to find my wife and marry her at a relatively young age. Thank G-d I didn't have to look so far and didn't have to struggle through the dating scene/singles scene/shidduch scene what have you. While I did do a little formal blind dating (not through a third party and in a hotel lobby,) I met why wife on my own. Therefore, I can't say I have a great deal of exposure to the formal dating or shidduch world, but I know people who are part of it and who have been part of it for a long time. (I have a friend who recently went out with girl number 93.) I know many people as well who met their spouses through other means and are happy as well.
What bothers me is criticism. Kind of hypocritical being that I am about to write a criticism. In any event, as I said, I know met people who met through many different methods. I am exposed, have friends, and are related to people with different backgrounds and religious observance. I get very frustrated when conversation comes up criticizing dating methods of other people.
While criticism is healthy (constructive criticism, for example,) I think it is unhealthy when discussing a situation in which you have minimal or no experience. For example, I think there is a strong amount of criticism of people who are not in the 'yeshivish' or more Orthodox circles of people who shidduch date. I often hear comments of
"How can he or she really get to know the person" or
"How can you really know what the person is going to be like from drinking a coke in a hotel lobby" or
"This is not a good format for people to meet."
In particular, I get bothered when people say:
"How could they have only dated for 1 month or 2 months."
On the flip side, more 'frum' people often say comments such as
"Why do they need to date so long"
"Why do they need to get engaged so long"
I think people need to chill out just a little bit. I think people need to stop saying comments such as:
"It's ridiculous that they got engaged after 6 weeks" or
"What are they waiting for?"
People just have to accept that different people have different priorities, standards, and requirements for what they want in a spouse. People come from different backgrounds and are exposed to different things. Although I don't have the statistics, my guess is that the divorce rate is much lower in Orthodox Jewish circles than in the overall population. So, as a whole, we must be doing something right.
It's time to be a little bit less judgmental of what other people need to do regarding dating to find their spouse. (Dating just to hang out is a different situation and beyond the scope. I happen to view it as pointless for an Orthodox Jew who would like to observe all the halachos)
Each person should do what makes them feel comfortable (which is hard considering the strong pressure within their groups at times.) Everybody grew up with different standards and everybody lives a different way and will need to apply different methods to deciding who is right for them.
Uh Oh!!! Gotta get ready for Shabbos. Have a good shabbos/Shabbat Shalom!!!
What bothers me is criticism. Kind of hypocritical being that I am about to write a criticism. In any event, as I said, I know met people who met through many different methods. I am exposed, have friends, and are related to people with different backgrounds and religious observance. I get very frustrated when conversation comes up criticizing dating methods of other people.
While criticism is healthy (constructive criticism, for example,) I think it is unhealthy when discussing a situation in which you have minimal or no experience. For example, I think there is a strong amount of criticism of people who are not in the 'yeshivish' or more Orthodox circles of people who shidduch date. I often hear comments of
"How can he or she really get to know the person" or
"How can you really know what the person is going to be like from drinking a coke in a hotel lobby" or
"This is not a good format for people to meet."
In particular, I get bothered when people say:
"How could they have only dated for 1 month or 2 months."
On the flip side, more 'frum' people often say comments such as
"Why do they need to date so long"
"Why do they need to get engaged so long"
I think people need to chill out just a little bit. I think people need to stop saying comments such as:
"It's ridiculous that they got engaged after 6 weeks" or
"What are they waiting for?"
People just have to accept that different people have different priorities, standards, and requirements for what they want in a spouse. People come from different backgrounds and are exposed to different things. Although I don't have the statistics, my guess is that the divorce rate is much lower in Orthodox Jewish circles than in the overall population. So, as a whole, we must be doing something right.
It's time to be a little bit less judgmental of what other people need to do regarding dating to find their spouse. (Dating just to hang out is a different situation and beyond the scope. I happen to view it as pointless for an Orthodox Jew who would like to observe all the halachos)
Each person should do what makes them feel comfortable (which is hard considering the strong pressure within their groups at times.) Everybody grew up with different standards and everybody lives a different way and will need to apply different methods to deciding who is right for them.
Uh Oh!!! Gotta get ready for Shabbos. Have a good shabbos/Shabbat Shalom!!!
Shout Out from Jewess
I wanna thank Jewess for giving me a shout out on the blog. It feels nice to be welcomed and have the word spread on the blog world. The hits haven't been poring in exactly, but hopefully they will start to trickle in. Anyway, thank you again.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Hirhurim - Abandoned by the Rabbis?
Gil at Hirhurim has an interesting post about a new book he received and the general feeling of abandonment by the Rabbis. Worth reading.
My father always used to feel frustrated by many roshei yeshivot giving psak on topics in which they have no experience and don't completely know the exact metzios or necessary facts on the topic. He felt it was not right that Rabbis that have never been in a business meeting, business environment, and never had the pressure to network or close a deal could properly advise talmidim or members of a community on what to do when confronted with a halachicaly questionably situation such as women in the work environment or lunch at a non-kosher restaurant.
I think one of the phenomenons that has led to this is shift of religious Judaism in to the Yeshiva setting. I don't mean being more yeshivish; I feel like big communities are breaking up, more people are learning for a living or until later points in life. As a result, there is a smaller role (and fewer jobs) for community rabbis. The Rosh Yeshiva has become the posek for an increasing number of people. This is a problem for three main reasons 1) the lack of knowledge of the facts as mentioned above, and 2) many of these rabbonim are learning and teaching gemara all day and (yes I am saying this) may not be properly qualified to give a psak halacha for a baal habayit. 3) These rabbonim are advisers and mentors to students in Yeshiva. Quite often, they give what I like to call a "psak hashkafa" and a suggestions "it is better for one to stay away from" type of psak, as if they were advising a talmid.
By the way, those of you who think these issues would not exist if living in Israel or wrong. While, yes, there is a greater overall knowledge and understanding regarding religious observance (as well as more kosher restaurants,) there is much judgment given and less sensitivity at times. When I was living in Israel, I had to always think what they would think if the saw a religious person do X or Y.
My father always used to feel frustrated by many roshei yeshivot giving psak on topics in which they have no experience and don't completely know the exact metzios or necessary facts on the topic. He felt it was not right that Rabbis that have never been in a business meeting, business environment, and never had the pressure to network or close a deal could properly advise talmidim or members of a community on what to do when confronted with a halachicaly questionably situation such as women in the work environment or lunch at a non-kosher restaurant.
I think one of the phenomenons that has led to this is shift of religious Judaism in to the Yeshiva setting. I don't mean being more yeshivish; I feel like big communities are breaking up, more people are learning for a living or until later points in life. As a result, there is a smaller role (and fewer jobs) for community rabbis. The Rosh Yeshiva has become the posek for an increasing number of people. This is a problem for three main reasons 1) the lack of knowledge of the facts as mentioned above, and 2) many of these rabbonim are learning and teaching gemara all day and (yes I am saying this) may not be properly qualified to give a psak halacha for a baal habayit. 3) These rabbonim are advisers and mentors to students in Yeshiva. Quite often, they give what I like to call a "psak hashkafa" and a suggestions "it is better for one to stay away from" type of psak, as if they were advising a talmid.
By the way, those of you who think these issues would not exist if living in Israel or wrong. While, yes, there is a greater overall knowledge and understanding regarding religious observance (as well as more kosher restaurants,) there is much judgment given and less sensitivity at times. When I was living in Israel, I had to always think what they would think if the saw a religious person do X or Y.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Welcome to V's Blog
Hello All,
Welcome to the initial post of V's Blog and my official entry in the J-blogging world. I just recently started reading the various Jewish world/religion/Israeli blogs out there and decided that I wanted in on the action. I figure I will give a little background about my views and what I hope to do.
Firstly, I figure I will remain anonymous for now and see how things play out.
I'm a married Orthodox Jewish male with two children living in America (not in the NY area.) I did grow up in the NY area, went to YU, lived in Israel where I served in the army, and my family returned to America not too long ago. I have a Master's degree as well as Orthodox smicha (not from YU.) I consider myself Orthodox and Torah observant. I believe that it is not good to be extreme in any way or any characteristic; this is an important value taught be the Rambam and is ignored by many who take pride on their extreme positions.
I believe that learning Torah is the most important thing in the life of Jew (man and woman alike.) Mostly, this will teach us how to properly perform the mitzvot. Secondly, it will increase our overall knowledge, faith, and connection with Hashem. Additionally, it will teach us so many important values that could make our lives and the lives of our fellow Jews and human beings that much more meaningful.
Here's what I don't like.
I don't like when the method in which we learn and derive Jewish law is changed. This is done (abused) by the right-wing and more left-wing alike. I believe the same laws and methods to determine the law should be used now.
I don't like when halachik decisions are made that do not put faith in individuals to follow other laws (ie Miami Beach is Assur, the Internet is assur, etc.)
I don't like when people use their Torah knowledge to propel them to a position of high stature; people should use their positions to help raise Torah up and help it gain respect.
I don't like when people pick and choose and prioritize the less important things in our wonderful religion, while ignoring many key aspects.
I don't like when people view their religion as a hobby as opposed to their identity.
What I love is when Jews strive to grow, learn, and achieve more for the right reasons.
While some of these ideas may seem quite vague, these ideas will come out over the course of time.
The goal of this blog is to comment on many of the issues facing the Jewish world, the Jewish religion, and the Jewish people of all spectrum and all sects that appear in the news or on other blogs. I will try to not be overly negative or cynical. In addition, I will also try to find things or opinions that I agree with and that I feel we can all take strong pride in.
Well, that is an overview. I hope you come back and see what I have to say. All comments are welcome.
Welcome to the initial post of V's Blog and my official entry in the J-blogging world. I just recently started reading the various Jewish world/religion/Israeli blogs out there and decided that I wanted in on the action. I figure I will give a little background about my views and what I hope to do.
Firstly, I figure I will remain anonymous for now and see how things play out.
I'm a married Orthodox Jewish male with two children living in America (not in the NY area.) I did grow up in the NY area, went to YU, lived in Israel where I served in the army, and my family returned to America not too long ago. I have a Master's degree as well as Orthodox smicha (not from YU.) I consider myself Orthodox and Torah observant. I believe that it is not good to be extreme in any way or any characteristic; this is an important value taught be the Rambam and is ignored by many who take pride on their extreme positions.
I believe that learning Torah is the most important thing in the life of Jew (man and woman alike.) Mostly, this will teach us how to properly perform the mitzvot. Secondly, it will increase our overall knowledge, faith, and connection with Hashem. Additionally, it will teach us so many important values that could make our lives and the lives of our fellow Jews and human beings that much more meaningful.
Here's what I don't like.
I don't like when the method in which we learn and derive Jewish law is changed. This is done (abused) by the right-wing and more left-wing alike. I believe the same laws and methods to determine the law should be used now.
I don't like when halachik decisions are made that do not put faith in individuals to follow other laws (ie Miami Beach is Assur, the Internet is assur, etc.)
I don't like when people use their Torah knowledge to propel them to a position of high stature; people should use their positions to help raise Torah up and help it gain respect.
I don't like when people pick and choose and prioritize the less important things in our wonderful religion, while ignoring many key aspects.
I don't like when people view their religion as a hobby as opposed to their identity.
What I love is when Jews strive to grow, learn, and achieve more for the right reasons.
While some of these ideas may seem quite vague, these ideas will come out over the course of time.
The goal of this blog is to comment on many of the issues facing the Jewish world, the Jewish religion, and the Jewish people of all spectrum and all sects that appear in the news or on other blogs. I will try to not be overly negative or cynical. In addition, I will also try to find things or opinions that I agree with and that I feel we can all take strong pride in.
Well, that is an overview. I hope you come back and see what I have to say. All comments are welcome.
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